Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
