I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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