Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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