HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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