did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
