I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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