can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
