Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
