i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
