Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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