as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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