remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
