ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
