The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
