2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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