They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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