You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize