Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
