names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
