Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
