And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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