Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
