FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
