You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
