watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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