I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come on in and take your pants off
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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