You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
