I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
