I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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