It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
