so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
