you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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