dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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