Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
