im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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