True but thats because hes a fetus.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
