I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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