So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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