She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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