is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
