...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
