girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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