I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
