i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
