i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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