Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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