My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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