I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
