it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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