I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's just like the Real World with babies
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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