Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
