I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Still dying that you shit outside
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
