When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Bring me that man meat
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
