how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dont even know how to be here
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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