So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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