your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
