you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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