My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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