margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
