She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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