You're a womanizer and a bitch.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
